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Screamfree Parenting
Cover of Screamfree Parenting
Screamfree Parenting
10th Anniversary Revised Edition: How to Raise Amazing Adults by Learning to Pause More and React Less
Borrow Borrow
A new recording for the 10th anniversary of this parenting staple, on how parents can control their own behavior instead of unsuccessfully attempting to control their kids. Now with new information on keeping your cool in the digital age, examining the new wave of calm parenting, and dealing with defiant teens.
WANT A PEACEFUL HOME?

If you're like most parents, what you want right now is pretty simple: an effective plan for getting your kids to behave and be happy. You're probably looking for something else as well – something a little deeper. Like many other parents all over the world, you want to know you're doing a good job. You want to feel like you can handle anything. You want to feel confident, competent, and hopeful for the future, for both your kids and yourself. (Oh, and along the way, you'd like a little peace, quiet, and respect as well.)
All of the above are possible, even probable, if you can learn to become "Screamfree." You can have the structured, rewarding home life you've always craved, with respectful kids who are responsible for their own actions. All you have to do is learn to pause, so you can respond more and react less. It really is that simple. Once you learn to control your own emotions and behavior, your children will soon learn how to control theirs.
Now is your chance to join thousands of other parents in a movement of calmer parenting. This practical, effective guide for parents with kids of all ages introduces proven principles for overcoming the stress and anxiety of parenting, forged in the personal trenches of countless Screamfree families. The new, revised edition includes updated practical applications of the foundational ScreamFree principles, a new chapter on parenting in the digital age, and a comprehensive Q&A section dealing with everything from behavioral problems to allowances and chores.
A peaceful home is closer than you think.
A new recording for the 10th anniversary of this parenting staple, on how parents can control their own behavior instead of unsuccessfully attempting to control their kids. Now with new information on keeping your cool in the digital age, examining the new wave of calm parenting, and dealing with defiant teens.
WANT A PEACEFUL HOME?

If you're like most parents, what you want right now is pretty simple: an effective plan for getting your kids to behave and be happy. You're probably looking for something else as well – something a little deeper. Like many other parents all over the world, you want to know you're doing a good job. You want to feel like you can handle anything. You want to feel confident, competent, and hopeful for the future, for both your kids and yourself. (Oh, and along the way, you'd like a little peace, quiet, and respect as well.)
All of the above are possible, even probable, if you can learn to become "Screamfree." You can have the structured, rewarding home life you've always craved, with respectful kids who are responsible for their own actions. All you have to do is learn to pause, so you can respond more and react less. It really is that simple. Once you learn to control your own emotions and behavior, your children will soon learn how to control theirs.
Now is your chance to join thousands of other parents in a movement of calmer parenting. This practical, effective guide for parents with kids of all ages introduces proven principles for overcoming the stress and anxiety of parenting, forged in the personal trenches of countless Screamfree families. The new, revised edition includes updated practical applications of the foundational ScreamFree principles, a new chapter on parenting in the digital age, and a comprehensive Q&A section dealing with everything from behavioral problems to allowances and chores.
A peaceful home is closer than you think.
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  • From the book

    CHAPTER ONE


    Parenting Is Not About Kids,
    It
    's About Parents


    It's not you, it's me.
    -George Costanza, Seinfeld


    The greatest thing you can do for your kids is learn to focus on yourself.

    That statement might not make complete sense right now. It might, in fact, seem downright offensive. What? Turn the focus away from my children and onto myself? Isn't that against all the rules?

    No, it isn't. I'm not proposing that you put your children last on the list. Far from it. What I'm saying is that by focusing on yourself, you will have a healthier, happier relationship with your whole family.

    You see, most of us have been operating with a faulty model of how to live in our relationships. That's not to say our relationships are all faulty, but the model sure is. We've been operating with a model that says in order to have healthy relationships, we need to focus on meeting other people's needs, trying to serve them and make them happy. To even question such a model draws controversy, I know, but stay with me.


    By focusing on yourself, you will have a healthier, happier relationship with your whole family.


    This book is going to talk about why this model is so faulty, particularly in our parent--child relationships. For now, there are a few simple things we should consider. First, it's a given that there are things in this world we can control and things we cannot control. Now ask yourself this question: How smart is it to focus your energy on something you can't do anything about, something you cannot control? Answer: Not very. Follow--up question: Which category do your kids fall into? In other words, are your children something you can control or something you cannot control? Here's an even tougher question: Even if you could control your kids, should you? Is that what parenting is all about? And what if it's not the kids who are out of control?


    Who's Really Out of Control Here?

    My kids, Hannah and Brandon, were four and two, and it was one of those Saturday mornings. My wife, Jenny, and I had stayed up way too late on Friday night, which guaranteed that our kids would get up way too early the next day. And so the weekend began with a lot of whining and crying and complaining--and the kids were upset as well.

    So I decided, in my parenting expert wisdom, to get us all out of the house. Let's go to Waffle House for breakfast. Now the first Waffle House we walked into was just too full, but, thankfully, there is no shortage of Waffle Houses in suburban Atlanta. So, we piled back into the car, strapped our children into their car seats, quieted disappointed whines with promises of lots of maple syrup, and drove the hundred yards or so to a second Waffle House. And the line at the second one was just as long as the first.

    There was no way we were getting the kids back into the car for another trip, however, so we decided to wait it out. Thankfully, the staff at this Waffle House were thinking--they had crayons and blank paper for the kids. My wife and I could even get in a little adult conversation. A win-win situation.

    As if that weren't enough, a sign caught my eye. If my children drew a picture, they were entitled to a paper Waffle House hat--just like the grill man wears--and a free waffle. Sometimes life is good. The kids colored. My wife and I talked. The time flew and before we knew it, we were seated--my wife and daughter on one side of the booth, my son and I on the other. They brought the kids their paper hats, and I even tried one on.

    If you've never been to a Waffle House, you would be amazed at the...
About the Author-
  • HAL EDWARD RUNKEL is a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship
    coach, and international speaker. He is founder and president of ScreamFree
    Living, Inc.--dedicated to calming the world one relationship at a time. Hal's principles
    have already helped thousands of families revolutionize their relationships. He lives
    with his wife, Jenny, and their two children just outside Atlanta,...

Reviews-
  • AudioFile Magazine Hal Runkel, a marriage and family therapist and founder of ScreamFree Living, Inc., offers sage advice for parents fighting daily battles with their kids. Runkel provides a system for parents to improve themselves and their family relationships through a down-to-earth philosophy of mutual respect, self-care, and consequences. Runkel's wisdom and calming voice are particularly valuable for parents with kids who know how to push their buttons. Runkel urges parents to control themselves in order to maintain control at home. The audiobook is loaded with real-life examples of parents who have turned things around at home. This production illustrates the way Runkel's program works and provides some useful entertainment. H.L.S. (c) AudioFile 2008, Portland, Maine
  • Susan Newman, Ph.D., author of Little Things Long Remembered: Making Your Children Feel Special Every Day. "Whew! What a relief--a fresh approach to parenting that eliminates the battles, the bickering, the frustrations and guilt while allowing children the space to learn and grow. It's inventive and doable...parents stay calm, connected, and in control--a miracle. In Screamfree Parenting Hal Runkel gives you the tools to take care of yourself so you can take better care of your growing children. Every parent needs this book--it changes how you think about parenting...and how you parent. You'll wonder why you ever raised your voice or broke a promise."
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    Penguin Random House Audio Publishing Group
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    All copies of this title, including those transferred to portable devices and other media, must be deleted/destroyed at the end of the lending period.

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Screamfree Parenting
Screamfree Parenting
10th Anniversary Revised Edition: How to Raise Amazing Adults by Learning to Pause More and React Less
Hal Runkel
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